I was super-active as a kid, but I always had a 'problem' with food, especially sugar and carbs. I would sneak food and binge. It never showed up on the scale, but I felt ashamed about what I was doing with food.
During high school, the bingeing increased, and I finally started gaining extra weight. I was using food to cope with depresssion, anxiety, and feelings of being inadequate. I developed anorexia.
Once I got to college, my mental struggles increased and I turned to bulimia to cope. My weight plummetted to a clinically unhealthy level, and I was out of control. I was exercising up to 8 hours 7 days a week.
As time went on and I met a few key people who helped me find my self worth, I started becoming a happier person and started finding my place in the world. At that point, I still had an eating disorder but it was slowly improving. I made a pact with myself that I would gain some weight back. I found myself out-of-control eating, and my weight swung into the 'overweight' category. I was still bulimic, but I used mostly exercise as a way to 'purge' rather than as much vomiting as I had been doing.
These photos are not from my heaviest, but they give you an idea of what I looked like:
In my mid 20s I started becoming a lot happier and my eating improved. I still had an eating disorder, but the severity was much less.
Around age 29 I found bikram yoga, and that was the piece of the puzzle that was missing for me. I found a way, through yoga, to manage my depression and anxiety. I learned to take pressure off myself and to love myself just the way I am, no matter what.
Once I finally stopped trying to control my body from head to toe, I actually realized that my body knows what to do if I trust it. Life is waaaayyy easier this way. I am not perfect. And that is a beautiful thing. I use fitness now for a positive experience in my life, not for a way to punish myself. I would love to show you how to use fitness as a positive experience in your life, too.